A High Flying Feeling
Summary
My experiences growing up with my dad working as an airline pilot and the time we spent apart that strengthened our relationship together.
People often think that because my dad worked as an airline pilot, I never got to spend any time with him growing up. They think that he was never home, that we never talked, and that oh, “I couldn’t possibly have a close relationship with my dad now”. For my family, none of these assumptions were true. My dad did spend quality time at home with my family, and when he was away, we stayed connected. And no, my dad and I have a great father-daughter relationship, which I truly believe is because of the fact that we just had to work a little harder at it when I was growing up.
I’ve been a pilot's daughter from the day I was born. With my dad’s hat on my head, I felt as qualified to fly as he was. (Photo by Douglas Fitz)
As a kid, I didn’t understand how someone could be afraid to take off thousands of feet in a metal box with wings. My biggest fear was that the flight attendants wouldn’t give me a cute little straw to drink my water with. (Photo by Polly Fitz)
As a pilot, you bid for your schedule each month to choose which trips you want to take and where you want to layover. When he flew domestically, my dad would bid for trips with Madison or Milwaukee layovers so he could spend a day at home with us in the middle of his trip. When he did get these short layovers, his flight would be the last of the day, landing late at night, and he would make the drive home to spend the night and the next day with us. He would get home after my brother and I were in bed, but we would go to bed knowing that when we would wake up in the morning, he would be home. It was really kind of magical how we went to bed knowing Dad was somewhere across the country and would wake up to him making coffee in the morning. He would spend the day with us before leaving that night to head back to Madison or Milwaukee. The next morning, I would always find a note from him promising that he would be home soon.
We never did anything special on those days when my dad was home, but he would always make sure to tuck my brother and I into bed before he headed back to work later that night. (Photo by Polly Fitz)
My dad flew internationally multiple times throughout his career, but most notably for me, from 2018 to partway through Covid. We always used FaceTime to stay connected while my dad was away, even when he flew domestically, but it became a bigger part of our lives when he started flying internationally. When I was in elementary school, I would FaceTime my dad after school and he would help me with my math homework. We didn’t always get much math done, but this became one of my favorite traditions whenever my dad was on a trip. In fifth grade, school started for me at 8:15 in the morning, and for my brother, then in 3rd grade, at 7:20. When my dad was away on a trip, either in Shanghai or Beijing, he would stay up late on his side of the world to FaceTime me in the mornings before school while my mom took my brother to school. We would talk every morning for a short time and then he would go to bed in China, and I would go to school on my side of the world, in Wisconsin.
My dad was not able to get home for Christmas, 2018, but we got to spend it with my grandparents instead, and I have only good memories of this time. (Photo by Polly Fitz)
One thing my dad was really good at was being there for birthdays or other holidays, although it wasn’t guaranteed. There was one Christmas when we weren't sure if he was going to make it home on Christmas Eve until the last minute, or one year when we spent Christmas with my grandparents while my dad was away. And there were orchestra concerts and other events when my dad couldn’t make it home, but he’d be sure to get pictures or a video. Because we were surrounded by other friends and family, none of these are sad memories for me, just memories that are different from those of my dad.
Although my dad no longer flies, aviation is still a big part of our lives. Hence our streak of never missing the Oshkosh EAA fly in. (Photo by Douglas Fitz)
My dad stopped flying partway through Covid, and is now always home with my brother and I. His love for all things aviation has not left him though. Still, we couldn't possibly miss a year of the Oshkosh EAA fly-in, and every time we hear a plane overhead, he has to rush outside. I love it now that my dad is always home, but I also have good memories from when he was flying, and I wouldn’t ever wish that his work was different. His work took him away from us physically, yes, but it brought us close together in every other way, and we have memories that no other family does, or will ever have.
Comments
Post a commentWaunakee Community High School Advanced English 10 - 3B
Mrs. Swanhorst's Advanced English 10 students
Meredith, thank you for sharing this story about your family. As I read, I found myself thinking about how all of our families are different and we find unique ways to love and connect to one another. It is always so interesting to learn about how other people grew up and made their way through the world. I hope you get to share this with your dad :)