Summary

People from all over struggle with past trauma or mental health. I, a 15-year-old girl, have gone through it all. Through my family's non-profit, I have found a way to connect with nature and use it in a helpful way to help overcome my depression

A lot of people forget that everyone has their own issues. Many people describe me as happy, bubbly, optimistic and strong. When you meet someone for the first time you don’t ask what their journey was, how they got here, how they became who they were today. You don’t ask what they’ve been through.

I always smile. The minute I walk through the gate or drive up the driveway, I always smile. It’s like going through a barrier—one where you know you're safe, where you know you are meant to be. I adore what I do, and I try to go to Ravenswillow whenever possible.

Teens are known to go with the crowd and close off emotions, for example, myself. I was never very popular and I always seemed to get along with teachers and adults more than people my own age. When I was asked “How are you today” I always responded with the most common answer: “Good you?” This was not accurate 75% of the time. I had a disappointing home life. Life at home was never easy and made coming to school and talking with friends very difficult. It took a long time to get where I am today. Trying to find anything to help me feel better mentally because I dug a deep hole and was afraid I couldn’t get out.

I always strive to be unique from my surroundings. Like the apple shown here, I’ve learned to be the light and the grounding aspect in a forest of similar trees and branches. To be the bright color in the dark greens and browns. To be myself.

So many teens struggle through this all the time and I have, after 8 years of mental illness, I found the best solution. I had started working with horses. I adored the feeling of getting on a horse and developing a connection with an animal that wasn’t a human. From these interactions, I extended my healing toward nature itself. Whether it’s taking a walk, gardening, or riding a horse I am overwhelmed with a sense of peace. It is one of my biggest goals in life to help teens in the same position feel comfortable and supported.

My sister and I welcome new people to our haven. Here we guide in our two newest horses Tully and Panda and welcome their past owners to help share in our experience to help people with Mental Health needs.

My mom has been one of the biggest impacts on my growth through the years. Not only has she been my biggest supporter, but she is now the owner of a nonprofit organization to help me achieve this specific goal. Through this organization, we work to use horses and a natural environment to help people of all ages deal with their past trauma and provide resources for mental wellness.

This program has helped all ages…even one-year-olds like my brother. He likes to be very silly and has grown up around horses and never leaves the barn without a smile on his face.

I believe one of the most important parts of this process is talking about it. Facing it head-on rather than pushing it deeper and deeper inside. The horses at the barn I’ve discovered are the best listeners. The way their ears perk up as you tell them your life story, having something to rant to, and I believe they understand you too. Surrounding yourself with Nature creates a comforting embrace and makes it a safer space to let those memories arise and deal with them smoothly and simply. Being able to talk to not only other people but to be able to sit with yourself without worrying about the thoughts overwhelming you. To use each one of the senses we as humans were blessed with to ground ourselves and connect to this earth we were put onto. At the barn, I take moments to just sit there and listen. Listen to my mom giving lessons, to the horses whinnying, to the breeze and the buzz of the insects. To ground myself in the soft grass and just listen to the earth we live on, to live in the moment.

I enjoy being with horses at all times. Whether it’s riding, or walking in while they are eating, they always have this constant aura that welcomes you in and overwhelms you with that feeling of comfort and closeness. The smell of hay and the feel of her hair on my skin makes it feel like home.

A common question asked is “If you could go back and change something from the past, what would it be?” Although there are things I regret, things I wish I didn’t need to go through, and things I wish I never had to experience, they all put me where I am today. I am here. Right Now. If I hadn’t gone through everything I did at my dad's house, I wouldn't be here, be able to say I own horses, that I have a sanctuary. Because I got through it all. If people use this as their mindset, we will all be able to move forward, to get out of the quicksand of the past. To get away from our thoughts that try to drag us down. You can do it. You can get past it. Your past doesn’t define who you are. You do. Be in this moment, connect with the world around you, and I promise you will get better.

I try hard to connect with all the aspects of nature around the farm. I pick an apple from the many apple trees and the taste of them is so fresh. Whenever you walk past the apple trees, even as decaying apples litter the floor the sweetness fills your nostrils, like warm cookies fresh from the oven. These apples benefit both the humans that visit… and the horses too :)

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Bryn Orum · November 15, 2024 18:44

Izzy, Thank you for sharing this beautiful and vulnerable meditation on your experiences. I loved getting to see a window into your place of healing. This piece is truly an inspiration.

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