America, I’ve been living here since I was born. When I was younger I truly thought that all the people In America saw each other as equal, but as I got older and started to develop my own persona I saw America for what it really is. I can tell you now that it isn't the land of the free.
When you’re young you don't see color or race all you really see is a friend or a stranger but when you began to grow older you start to notice that not everybody is the same. Some people are Black, some are Caucasian, some are Asian, some are Hispanic, some are tall, and some are small. When you get to a certain age all these characteristics that you have put you In this box that label's you like if your black some may automatically put you in this box that you'll end up in prison or you'll amount to nothing and that is truly not the case.
I grew up as a Gay African American male and just with those words makes my life more difficult. Sometimes it's not even the people that outside the black community that makes it hard sometimes it's the black community itself. We don't even stick together or support each other goals instead we kill each other and put each other down that's what I had to grow up around. Black males have this requirement to be strong, brave, and masculine. We have to have a wife and we have to protect our family but to most black parents there son, the one who's supposed to be masculine and strong being gay is hard to accept. How does being gay makes me not strong, not masculine, not able to provide, and protect my family?
I occasionally feel like I'm too black for white people and I'm too gay for black people. Being gay and African American is like having a double target on my back. When I walk instead anyplace and there is only white people I feel like very uncomfortable. It's not because I have anything against white people it's just this feeling that you don't belong there and no one should feel like that. I also feel that feeling plus more at my mostly black school feels like I can never express who I am without being judged or look at me with these eyes of disgust.
Being American to me is not being able to be who you truly are. Being American is trying to change who you are to please others. Being American is having nearly six times the incarcerated rate of whites. Being American is not being able to walk down the halls or streets holding your same sex partner without people looking at you or making comments. Being American is not truly being a part of America.