What do you think would happen if no one talked about how they felt? For example, what if Ashley didn’t tell you how her soccer game went, or if Elayna didn’t talk to you about going thrift shopping? Like how they always do. What if we all just talked about school, work, or news. The world would, to a great degree, be very boring. There’d be no emotion. Just the same of everything. Or maybe if someone were having a bad day and couldn’t talk about it. Those bad days and feelings add up. You run out of things to say.
I believe that we should all learn to talk about our feelings.
Bottling things up can lead to depression. I was devastated when I found out I had to move back to Georgia to live with my parents. I had been so used to living with my aunts for the past 5 years, I was not ready to live with people I barely knew, and didn’t trust. Knowing all the days I had left to spend with my aunts, also not knowing if I’d ever see them again. I began to feel sad. I felt as if I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I felt, because it was a personal topic. I didn’t know if anyone would understand how I felt. I would act happy around my aunts the last couple of days. But I had learned something as a child. To put on a mask, a fake face, that told everyone that I was happy with myself and my life. I never thought about going to see a therapist. I felt isolated from everything and everyone once I moved back. I didn’t have much friends, and my parents were distant. I felt like I wasn’t destined to be happy. But as I sent letters back and forth with my aunt, I felt safe, carefree maybe. I had never felt so alone before, so I told her what I was feeling. How unworthy I felt. She then wrote back to me, saying that If I talked to someone, it would feel better, it’d be hard at first, but I’d eventually feel happy again. Which I thought wasn’t possible.
At one point, you and your feelings will explode and you will involuntarily lash out at somebody or something. By bottling up your feelings, they will reach the top once something traumatic has happened to you, and you will feel alone and angry. This can end friendships or damage them. My aunt got sick after we all left for Georgia, and she had never had a therapist. So, she was going through depression all by herself. My other aunt, was miserable as well, but they rarely conversed with each other about how they felt. I know what she went through was rough, and unbearable. Her children were ripped from her arms. Once we came back up to Michigan, she was relieved but still frightened that we could be taken away again. Her depression was still present, and sometimes it didn’t help that we were there. All this hurt and irritation she had built up over almost 4 years, could not and would not go away. Sometimes, if we were to pester her and beg her for the attention we were neglected, she would get spurts of anger, and yell or scold us. We know she didn’t mean for it to come across as unloving or negligent. We would do something she didn’t like, her emotions would rush to the surface, her face red, and breathing heavily. We were scared that we had done something wrong, worried that we had pushed her over the edge. But with traumatic experiences, people are constantly looking over their shoulder for danger, and paying attention to the pain that has been inflicted on them.
Everyone has felt alone at one point in their lives. Maybe you were getting bullied for your new haircut. Or perhaps you had gotten into a fight with your family, you slammed your bedroom door shut and vowed to never come out again. Or maybe, you have dealt with depression, that constant nagging feeling of being sad or being alone. Or you have Monophobia and are terribly scared of being alone ever. People should be able to talk about their feelings because people should realize that it really does lift a huge weight off your chest once you find someone that will listen to you.
People also develop bad habits to ease the pain they feel on a day to day basis. Like drug or alcohol usage. Or maybe even harming yourself. Even deciding not to eat. Many people like to feel numb when they go through undeniable pain. They don’t want to feel the weight of the world and feel like carrying all the agony. Studies have shown that mental illness’ are frequently co-occurring with substance use.
Maybe one day the world will all be happy, and we’ll all be open to discussing how we feel. Which is why I strongly encourage people to find somebody they trust, to talk to them if they’re feeling negative about life or themselves. Sometimes when you’re sad, you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you just see plain, black nothing.
But, I believe you shouldn’t hide or bottle up your feelings. Because all it does is cause you pain. I also agree that we shouldn’t be judged for what we have to say. That can also cause others to stay silent, the fear of not being enough or being made of, frightens others do not want to be themselves and not express what they’re feeling. Fear holds many people back from saying what they want to say or even makes them feel diminished. But by being there for your friends and just letting them know you will be there if they need to talk, can help others feel more comfortable with talking about their feelings. In addition to that, there are many ways to make others feel secure and safe when expressing their feelings. Don’t judge others for what they have to say, and make sure you give wholehearted, ensuring advice.